It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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