Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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