hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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