absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize