You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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