No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
