What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
