I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
