put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
