this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
