pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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