guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
