then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize