I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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