She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
