And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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