Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
