You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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