I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
