Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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