I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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