He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
