I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
do nipples grow back?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
