goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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