Do you still have your period?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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