FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
