Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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