Duck Duck Cougar?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
