Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize