Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
