return my video game
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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