How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
