So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
