It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
