so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
