have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
