Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
