woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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