i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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