what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
