i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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