and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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