The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
