I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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