I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
