dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
