Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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