Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
