You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
