please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
