You're my little dorito
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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