There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
