If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
