you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
