He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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