Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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