At least make sure they are 18
Why
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
