party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
