After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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