we're blogging at a bar
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
