just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
