what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
