States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
