it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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