Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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