did you get engaged???
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
