there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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