I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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